I may destroy you stealthing5/20/2023 ![]() ![]() Katie Russell, spokesperson for the charity, told us, "This man's attitude is shockingly ignorant and lacking in empathy for his sexual partners. Brendan: Well, I'll take those chances.Īt the time of the interview, Rape Crisis told Cosmopolitan that both the law and the Crown Prosecution Service agree and are clear on the fact that 'stealthing' is a very serious sexual offence. Brendan: I'd be more worried about getting an STI than getting someone pull a lawyer on me for fraud when I'm having sex and I take a condom off. Host: But if that person has asked you to put on a condom, they're having sex with you on the understanding that's what's going on. I just put one on and if nothing is said I take it off. I don't think I really make an agreement. Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty Images // Getty ImagesĪBCpublished the transcript, and Brendan's answers highlight exactly why so many people’s views on consent need to change: Host: But you made an agreement to wear a condom and then you breach that without the person knowing. Back in 2017, one man who had admitted to removing condoms during sex without his partners knowing, gave an interview to Hack 'explaining' why. Prosecutor Jodie Mittell said, “Hogben went beyond what was consented to by removing the protection, which the complainant will say was a condition of intercourse."Īlthough this is glaringly obvious and unacceptable to the majority of human beings, it turns out the people doing the stealthing don't see it in the same way. In 2019, Lee Hogben - a man who removed a condom during sex - was found guilty of rape and jailed for 12 years. If someone consents to having sex using a condom, when that condom is removed without their permission, their consent disappears. Stealthing has previously been branded a 'trend', which is disturbing seeing as it literally means to remove a condom during sex, without the other partner's consent, and is therefore sexual assault.Īs well as the risk of spreading STIs and causing unwanted pregnancies, charities have called for us to recognise stealthing for what it really is: rape. This scene - and its portrayal of what's known as ' stealthing' - is a perfect study of the important and often underrepresented issues around condoms and consent. He tries to turn it around on her, claiming he thought she could 'feel it' and would realise he wasn't wearing a condom. She's shocked and confused as to why he took it off mid-sex. Next, we see a conversation play out between them that will be unfortunately all too relatable for some women and people with vaginas. She has no idea he's removed the condom.Īfterwards, he rushes off to the loo and she asks him where the condom is. And when she does, he whips the condom off, throws it on the floor and continues to have sex with her. After having sex in missionary position for all of thirty seconds, he asks her to turn around. In the scene, she asks the man to use a condom, which he does. In the latest episode, we see Arabella hook up with someone after she's been spiked and sexually assaulted. The show expertly explores issues around dating, consent, sex and sexuality, and follows Coel's character Arabella after her drink is spiked on a night out. I May Destroy You, the new BBC show written and co-directed by, and starring Chewing Gum's Michaela Coel, already has an enthusiastic fandom - and we're only four episodes in.
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